.jpg)
The Renegade Lawyer Podcast
I am more convinced than ever that nothing that traditional bar organizations are doing is going to move the needle on the sad stats on lawyer happiness ...
The root cause of all lawyers' problems is financial stress. Financial stress holds you back from getting the right people on the bus, running the right systems, and being able to only do work for clients you want to work with. Financial stress keeps you in the office on nights and weekends, often doing work you hate for people you don't like, and doing that work alone.
(Yes, you have permission to do only work you like doing and doing it with people you like working with.)
The money stress is not because the lawyers are bad lawyers or bad people. In fact, most lawyers are good at the lawyering part and they are good people.
The money stress is caused by the general lack of both business skills and an entrepreneurial mindset.
Thus, good lawyers who are good people get caught up and slowed down in bringing their gifts to the world. Their families, teams, clients, and communities are not well-served because you can't serve others at your top level when you are constantly worrying about money.
We can blame the law schools and the elites of the profession who are running bar organizations, but to blame anyone else for your own woes is a loser's game. It is, in itself, a restrictive, narrow, mindset that will keep you from ever seeing, let alone experiencing, a better future.
Lawyers need to be in rooms with other entrepreneurs. They need to hang with people who won't tell you that your dreams are too big or that "they" or "the system "won't allow you to achieve them. They need to be in rooms where people will be in their ear telling them that their dreams are too small.
Get in better rooms. That would be the first step.
Second step, ignore every piece of advice any general organized bar is giving about how to make your firm or your life better.
The Renegade Lawyer Podcast
Ep. 187 – Breath Before Burnout: Dr. Seema Desai on Redefining Success, Joy, and Healing
What if burnout wasn’t a sign you’re broken—but a sign it’s time to change?
In this powerful episode of the Renegade Lawyer Podcast, Ben Glass sits down with Dr. Seema Desai—former general dentist, executive coach, keynote speaker, and author—to explore the moment she realized success (on paper) wasn’t enough. From postpartum depression and a misaligned career to building a life rooted in joy, Dr. Desai’s story is one every high-achiever needs to hear.
They cover:
- Why we must stop tying our self-worth to titles and boxes we didn’t choose
- How parenting—and pain—can become your greatest leadership training
- The role of the vagus nerve and breathwork in avoiding burnout
- Why joy isn’t selfish—it’s your next competitive edge
- Two practices you can do today to start designing a life that fits
If you’re a lawyer, doctor, or high-performer wondering, “Is this all there is?”—this conversation will wake you up and light you up.
Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ben Glass is a nationally recognized personal injury and long-term disability insurance attorney in Fairfax, VA. Since 2005, Ben Glass and Great Legal Marketing have been helping solo and small firm lawyers make more money, get more clients and still get home in time for dinner. We call this TheGLMTribe.com
What Makes The GLM Tribe Special?
In short, we are the only organization within the "business builder for lawyers" space that is led by two practicing lawyers.
One thing we're sure you've noticed is that despite the variety of options within our space, no one else is mixing
the actual practice of law with business building in the way that we are.
There are no other organizations who understand the highs and lows of running a small law firm and are engaged in talking to real clients. That is what sets GLM apart from every other organization, and it is why we have had loyal members that have been with us for two-decades.
I feel like we do not teach this in medical school, and it is a disservice to our country, our world. This should be being taught even in elementary schools. My little niece, two years old, can get this. So why is it that we are in our first year of medicine in medical school, we're dissecting the vagus nerve, we're seeing how the body is innervated. We're not we're telling these kids, this nerve innervates and controls your digestion, your respiratory rate, your heart rate. Why are we not talking about the importance of regulating it? Why are we not talking about how to stay well instead of how to quote unquote cure sickness? And this nerve and the power of our breath has so much power to heal, to avoid, to nurture and restore and really propel us to that next level of unlocking that part of our brain that can think critically and can really reason and be tapped into our intuition to where we can make choices that make sense for us, that are aligned with us, that help us create joy.
SPEAKER_01:Welcome to the Renegade Lawyer Podcast, the show that challenges the way lawyers and professionals think about life, business, and success. Hosted by Ben Glass, attorney, entrepreneur, coach, and father of nine, this show is about more than just practicing law. For over 40 years, Ben has built a law firm that stands for something bigger. He's helped thousands of lawyers create practices that make good money, do meaningful work, and still make it. Each week, Ben brings you real conversations with guests who are challenging the status quo. Lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs, thinkers, and builders. These are people creating bold careers and meaningful lives without burning out or selling out. If you're ready to stop playing small and start thinking like a renegade, you're in the right place. Let's dive in.
SPEAKER_03:Hey everyone, this is Ben. Welcome back to the Renegade Lawyer Podcast, where just about every episode I'm interviewing someone inside or outside of legal. And as listeners know, recently I've been interviewing whitecoat folks, doctors, and dentists who have either spoken out or will be speaking at the White Coat Investor Summit next year. I'll be out there in Vegas in March. And it's been really interesting to just chat with professionals who are also entrepreneurs in a space. And I would never have run into these people had we not all been speaking at the same gig and then having my team reach out. And so today it's going to be fun, another fun one talking to Dr. Seema Desai. Dr. Desai is a dynamic, she's a keynote speaker, executive coach, specializing in performance and well-being. She's the author of Connected, Discovering Your Inner Guides, and a co-host of an award-winning podcast, which is still up, even though we're slowing that down a little bit. It's called Happy and Human. You should go track that down. She's a former general dentist out of Austin, Texas. If you're watching this on video, the natural light just makes your room so like calming. And she's she's known, you know, at the end of the day, fundamentally for believing that our formula, our traditional formula for success, that we have this backwards. And indeed, we're even not defining success the right way. And so she talks my vibe, which is, you know, life is meant to be lived in your happiness, and we figure out ways to make money and to have impact on the world. And so this could be good. I always joke with my guests pre-roll that what we're doing is I'm having a conversation with somebody who's really smart, and then we're letting everybody else listen in on that conversation later. So good morning. It's good to see you again.
SPEAKER_00:I'm so excited to be able to do this with you, Ben. You know, you hit something really on the head here, which is that the White Coat Investor, I've been kind of involved with that group for a couple of years. And it is such a special group of not only speakers, but people who attend. And of course, so it's not well known, but it's actually open to lawyers as well. It's not closed off just because you don't have quote unquote the white coat. So yeah, it's really a fantastic group. But importantly, I know the work that you do is so in line with with what I do, and I'm just thrilled to be here. Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_03:Uh well, yeah, it's interesting. You know, like there's all these lawyer surveys, and it's a big issue in the lawyer world about depression and anxiety and and unhappiness. But then as I go to look at what other occupations and professions say about themselves, they all kind of say the same thing. So apparently, we all, all the smart people got into professional colleges and universities and graduate study programs, worked our butts off, became really good at some skill. And, you know, sadly, too many people don't like where they what you know, how their life is. And I think that's mainly because, Seema, because they don't, they never even see these other alleyways of people in their profession who are enjoying it, who are making money, who are having impact on communities. And because the profession itself doesn't really promote this, which is why you have organizations like White Coat Investor, which is why you have Great Legal Marketing, which is my organization for doing this, out there just trying to say, look, there is a way to be happy and successful and make money, serve your clients or your, you know, your your uh patience, whatever it is, and have fun with it. And so thanks to you for playing in this space. And and you know, you are I I want to hear a little bit about that path because you obviously had to have been smart, you know, to get into dental school, get through dental school, grind out that's maybe a pun, what you know, whatever it takes to now be unleashed on the world as a dentist. And now you're not doing that anymore. So tell us a little bit about your journey through the professional side of your life. And if it and if it starts earlier than your professional side, you can start earlier than your professional side.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, doesn't it always? I mean, I think we tend to compartmentalize and we want to kind of get the cliffs notes version. And of course, I don't want to go on ad nauseum, but I do think it's relevant, especially because, you know, I grew up, my parents are blue-collar immigrants from India. They came to the States in the early 80s, settled in small town Texas. And, you know, this was back before we could stream Bollywood movies on Netflix or Amazon Prime. And, you know, we had to drive two hours to get to any sort of cultural anything, the Indian grocery store or our temple where we would go. Um, it was about every six weeks that we would have to leave, make the drive, and it would be just a regular thing. We would go to Dallas and do this, do this stuff and stock up on groceries and things like that. Of course, now I live in Austin and it's so different because you know, you can stream anything, you can listen to the latest uh Hindi music or or any type of Indian music. You can go even to the HEB, which is the big Texas grocery store chain, but uh Publix equivalent or a Safeway equivalent, and there's Indian products there, right? So it's we're living in a very different time. But back when I grew up, I was what's known as one of the only's. So culturally coming from one place, parents not really being familiar with how, you know, they spoke English, but culture is so different. So not only were we being just having a hard time finding cadence there, but even then within the very small Indian community that we lived in, you know, most of my parents, their their friends were physicians. And my parents are are blue-collar. And my dad built a successful business and, you know, went that route. So I didn't have a lot growing up. And then as I got older, is when we kind of started to experience some sort of financial stability. But it I kind of was always looking to these uncles and aunties that were there. And, you know, they would say it so casually, like, oh, we went to Tiffany and I picked up this pair of earrings, or I stopped by Cartier. You know, just like I decided to pick up a bag of apples at the grocery store. And it was just a completely different world for me. Um, and, you know, I would see their kids and they would go on these things called vacations, I believe they're it's pronounced vacations. Completely foreign concept to me. So it was interesting because culturally I was not part of this small town Texas thing. But even within our own subset of tiny, tiny immigrant Indian population, it was really hard to find voting there. But I was torn because my parents kept telling me success is not having to worry about where your food is gonna go on the table, being able to take these vacations, having this big paycheck. But I didn't really want to work the hours that these uncles and aunties were working. And so, you know, the running joke in the South Asian community is doctor, lawyer, engineer, those are your options. And doctors kind of on this pedestal. So when it came time to decide, all right, what am I gonna do? It wasn't like I had, I think you and I talked about this on the podcast, or when we were chatting before we hit record. There's so many careers out there that exist today that didn't exist back then. Right. Right. But even so, there were still careers beyond Dr. Lawyer Engineer back then. I just didn't know what they were. And so I kind of picked, okay, what is gonna make my parents proud? I'm really good at school, so I can kind of muscle my way through. Um, and if I can just prove and get that doctor title, then I'll finally be good enough. I won't be this blue-collar Indian immigrant kid. And I'll have the nice car and the blue box and the red box and the beautiful vacations. And wouldn't you know? Yeah, those things came, but I think I was, I kind of had told myself the story that my happiness was wrapped into that blue box with the blue with the beautiful white satin ribbon. For those of you who know what I'm talking about, it's that Tiffany box, that iconic Tiffany box. So it just wasn't in there. And so I'd buy another box and it wasn't in there. And it led to a very real slap in the face. I think it all came to a head when um, you know, I thought, well, the reason I'm not happy is because I need to be a mom. And keep in mind, I had married the quote unquote the right guy in terms of on paper, good Indian boy, also a doctor, comes from an educated family, but I happened to also be madly in love with him, and I still am. So we had all these boxes checked off and we were succeeding. And we thought, oh, well, the reason we're missing something is because we need to have children. That's what it is. Um, and I have always wanted to be a mother, but what I didn't expect was this postpartum depression that also came with it. I didn't know, of course, at the time that that's what it was. And my husband was at the time a brand new attending physician, madly studying for his pediatric critical care boards, working a ton. And I at that point, yes, I was a dentist, but I decided since I was expecting a child, I was going to stay home. And I think there were a lot of things that contributed to me landing in this place of depression. But when it happened, neither of us really wanted to look at it in the face and acknowledge what was happening. And it was easier to sweep it under the rug until the weight just became too heavy. And there came a lot of dark times, a lot of dark moments. But I'm really grateful. I always say my son is um the reason I'm here speaking this way, because I he was the wake-up call that my soul needed, really truly. But yeah, just I'm I'm trying to be clear and all-encompassing, but but not thrown on too much. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, no. So so we'll go to where the what you learned from that. But but it is interesting that as you viewed the world and viewed the aunties and uncles and the engineer, lawyer, and doctor, you also said, and they were all working really, really hard.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So that's you know, that's interesting. I one of the things that uh I've been sort of impressed with as I talked to uh physicians and dentists is I spoke to um an eye specialist in Iowa uh a few weeks ago. Uh on I was doing a consult for long-term disability claim. Very accomplished, very um uh you know, accomplished in the profession, but working 60 hours a week, and including the fact that since they are kind of the only big eye specialist player in Iowa, satellite offices that he would drive to and tell me that some nights he almost crashed his car because he was so exhausted.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that for lunch he had barely enough time to make a sandwich and pee. And I'm thinking, there's something really wrong with this picture when you have an Uber skill that you have trained for, developed, and you guys, doctors and dentists, you you you train more than anybody before they unleash you on the world, right? Lawyers, three years, and you can just go into a courtroom and do stuff. So I don't know, that that it I'm I have just been impressed by and somewhat in a little bit of a negative way, in terms of, oh my gosh, some of these guys and gals uh you know, they make good money, but they don't have a life outside of, I mean, if you're working 60 hours a week as a highly credentialed professional, yeah, when do you have time?
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Exercise, eat, play with your kids, coach your teams, all that stuff. Yeah. And so and then the last thing I'll say about this too is as you went went through the period of postpartum depression, like you can't beat yourself up over that because it was a new experience for you. Absolutely. When we do things that have like a lot of accomplished people, you get to another level, you get to another level, you get to another level. You're always playing in a place so you've never been before. And there's you really have two choices, like, okay, I I can learn by experience, which is really hard and takes a long time, or I can, if I recognize the issue, I can go out and quote, you know, buy expertise, coaching, learning, teaching. And that's really what I think you're doing these days is delivering expertise. But for you, um, you know, as you came through and discovered that there was a reason for this pain, um, and you and your husband and your child kind of walked through it and hopefully I think you did like figure it out and get professionals. What did you like what shift? You're not doing dentistry anymore. So what shifts are that doing for you?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I think that that's a really common question is you know, you check off these boxes, and so having the kids was one of these boxes that I thought would make my professional life, because I kept measuring it, right? And I would look at my colleagues and they would pride themselves on how many cases they were doing, the level of difficulty of these cases that they're doing, how many hours they're working, whether they own their office or not, whether they are expanding and you know, doing these cool things. And I just didn't care. It I hated it, honestly. That it was funny because I was just telling somebody the other day I would get this stack of things in the mail that was like advertisement for dental products and this and that, right? All these magazines. Um, and there would be like the one lone pottery barn catalog or something. And I would just be like, buy my dental magazines, off into the recycle you go. And I would just fixate on what I wanted to do outside of the dental field. I just couldn't have anything to do with it. And eventually it felt like dermatitis for my soul, honestly, just going to work. And I kept reducing my hours, thinking, okay, well, if I'm not happy professionally, at first I was blaming the office, the staff, the location, the patients, whether we took insurance or not, what kind of insurance we took. And, you know, eventually you kind of have to look in the mirror and be like, okay, well, nothing I'm doing is working. So I think that that critical point where, you know, your soul's rash gets so unbearable. The itchiness gets so bad that you just have to look at yourself and go, what am I actually doing? It's it's it feels awful to be there, but it's honestly one of the most amazing places to be in that that's your turning point, right? That's your opportunity to reflect and say, all right, what do I want to do? And I think the other thing people tend to say is they want it's almost like we expect as skilled professionals like attorneys and and doctors and things is we have come from a place of always knowing what's next. Right?
SPEAKER_03:Like you're the ascension ladder.
SPEAKER_00:Well, not even the yeah, I mean it is the ascension ladder. And that, but I it's like I know I need to take the L Sat. I know I need to get X score on the LSAT, right? You just know what you need to do. But when you look in the mirror and you say, This isn't working, there's a very real part of you that expects you to have an answer as an alternative. And it's not even the I don't know what's scarier for me, which was scarier was recognizing that it wasn't working or not having an answer to all right, if that's not working, then what will? And not knowing that was really scary too.
SPEAKER_03:Well, and maybe there's a third option on your list, which is as you were talking, I jotted down like, who was I actually doing this for? Mm-hmm. You grew up in a culture where the the auntie is pointed to the engineer, the lawyer, and the doctor. All right, mom and dad. So a lot of lawyers get into the space because mom and dad think it would be great, and it's one of those occupations that's, you know, just wonderful to do. And um and then I think you discover like there's a there's another person in this equation, and that's me.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Right? Sima.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And Sima has this one life to live, and she doesn't know how many years she's gonna get. She has no control over you had no control over who you were born to or the fact that your family moved to, of all places, Texas, America.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's an interesting like the whole country we find in Texas, America, miles from any other sort of Indi access to Indian culture and community. Right. Correct. Yeah. And then, you know, so you know, part of my mission is saying to people, it's okay. Even if you have all this investment in occupation, it's okay to do what you did, which is stop and go, hmm, it's not working.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Now I don't know what will work because I haven't played in that space before. Never been here before. No one's ever given me permission to think I could not be a dentist.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And so I'm now I'm really curious, like, how did you, how did you start to figure that out? You know, was it a book? Was it a guru? Was it prayer, meditation? Like, there's something there that allows a person to give themselves permission to say, my life, I want to run it my way.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And it's got to be something different. I got to go find it. Yeah. So I'm curious, do you know, even like No?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I mean, I honestly, where I started to really place blame on myself, and what came to focus into focus for me that wasn't working more so than the career, was how I was showing up with my kids. I was really angry all the time. And I would find myself doing the exact same things that I never wanted to be on the receiving end of as a child. And I started reading books and I started trying to figure out, you know, what how to parent differently. Um, and what no one tells you, the bonus about becoming a parent is it's actually a lesson in leadership. I know you and I talked about this before. Um, and not not to say that everybody should go out and have children if that doesn't align, but the bonus is if you decide to have a family, each child brings an opportunity for you to learn to lead yourself and your team, even professionally, you just become a better person if you allow them to let uh if you like. And so that kind of I just couldn't deal with the mom guild, honestly. So I started reading books and I kept hearing, well, you just need to be a calm parent. And I thought, if I could calm down, don't you think I would? Like if I knew how to do that, I would do it, but I can't. And so I finally hired a life coach who happened to also be a yoga mentor. The backstory there, really quick, was in my postpartum depression, I just was at the end of my rope. And I found a yoga studio around town that called to me. And so I just started practicing. And that was one of the many things that sort of helped. It wasn't just getting out of the house. It wasn't just exercise for me. It was the actual yogic practice of understanding how my body's talking to me, how it links with my breath, what does my breath mean? What is what is my breath telling me? These are not difficult things. And I will get on a soapbox here for a little bit because I remember doctors. Well, I feel like we do not teach this in medical school. And it is a disservice to our country, our world. This should be being taught even in elementary schools. My little niece, two years old, can get this. So why is it that we are in our first year of medicine in medical school, we're dissecting the vagus nerve, we're seeing how the body is innervated. We're not, we're telling these kids, this nerve innervates and controls your digestion, your respiratory rate, your heart rate. Why are we not talking about the importance of regulating it? Why are we not talking about how to stay well instead of how to quote unquote cure sickness? And this nerve and the power of our breath has so much power to heal, to avoid, to nurture and restore and really propel us to that next level of unlocking that part of our brain that can think critically and can really reason and be tapped into our intuition to where we can make choices that make sense for us, that are aligned with us, that help us create joy. Um, but that's that's you know, tasked.
SPEAKER_03:Look, so there's there's people like me who've always been curious about yoga and just I think haven't had the time, haven't found the person, you know, the convenience. Having said that, some of the most popular speakers at our events have been on this topic.
SPEAKER_00:Interesting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, and and and calming the mind. And it is one of the things I and I think I we talked last week. So five biological children very typically developed. Sure. No issues. Yeah. Four from China, all with some version of early childhood trauma from living in an orphanage and having to relearn everything we thought we knew about parenting. So to your point, the the kids taught us because you can't change it, change a brain overnight. You can't change lived experience overnight. We could work on us, and it really took my wife, Sandy, and I like two people together, because it's exhausting being a parent at times, two people on the same page, learning, discussing, debating, trying to get better, holding each other up when the one is exhausted to do that. And I think, you know, the remarkable thing is the spillover effect. I'm I'm convinced now that like God put us with these kids to teach us to just teach us to be better human beings and to regulate. Like our own self-regulation, we had to be good at before we could teach regulation. And so it's amazing. Um, so so that little tangent is really important. And you have to keep telling that story.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think it is because you know, people we tend to jump to the how. How did you do that? How did you leave down the street? But what we miss is this, it's not about the how. It's like that's the last thing. In fact, that is what happens on autopilot. And if you stop controlling or trying to control how and when and what, this is the scariest thing. And it is completely against how we are raised in society. Where kids are three years old and we're asking them, what do you want to be when you grow up? That is not the question to be asking.
SPEAKER_03:And getting them the super coach to get them there.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Heck no. I mean, I feel like we don't attract what we want. We attract who we are being, right? We attract based on the person we're being. And so when we look at our lives and we say, okay, this isn't working, it is really foreign and unknown to say, what is going to bring me joy? What is going to bring me alignment? What does that even look like? Because now I have to go back and identify what are actual values that I have for myself, not values that my parents told me I should have, not values that society says I should have. What actually matters to me? And we don't have those answers off the bat necessarily. Some we might, but even allowing ourselves a support, you know, I think the other thing too is what helped me make this shift was investing in myself beyond schooling, right? We can, we'll pay for our kids to go to Harvard. We'll pay for the college education, what is it, these coaches? We'll pay for our Louis Vuitton bag to, you know, make it look like we're kind of keeping up with things. We'll pay for the private school, we'll pay for the vacations to make sure we're keeping up with the Joneses. How much are we really truly putting our money where our mouth is and saying, no, I matter? And so I'm gonna hire a life coach or an executive coach. I'm gonna look into seminars, I'm gonna look into joining a mastermind, I'm gonna look into learning a new skill that I've, you know, maybe you've always wanted to sing as a kid and you were told like that's not a real career, so you should just not do it. No, do it. If it's gonna, even if you explore it and say, you know what, maybe I don't want to do this. I just thought I did as a kid, great, fine. But now you know, and you're not telling yourself some story that's not true, which is I can't. Right.
SPEAKER_02:We'll get back in just a second. If you're the kind of lawyer who believes your practice can be your platform, not just a paycheck, you need to check out my book, Renegade Lawyer Marketing. This isn't your average law firm marketing book. No theory, no fluff. Just the mindset and tools that helped us build a law firm that serves our family and still fights for our clients. Grab your copy at renegade lawyer marketing.com and start building a law practice that actually works for you. Now, back to the show.
SPEAKER_03:Here's one thing you can add to your list in your in your public speaking of things that we invest in today is I just read an article today about the whole industry of of companies that will come in and make your dorm room like really special. Like really decorate out and design your dorm room. And now we're creating these, you know, this an additional really divide in America. Yeah. Between the kids that have the uh, you know, the the custom design dorm room and those like me who showed up with posters of soccer players and put them on the wall.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my gosh. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, the other thing is, you know, I think one of the challenges. So when we talk about investing in ourselves, and you said, what brings me joy? That around most people in society, that sounds a little weird or sounds selfish, or and and so a big shift for me came when I discovered that there was a whole world of people who were actually interested in talking about this. And and it was, you know, it was a quote unquote safe place. It's not really the right phrase because this is so, so important. What advice to you would you give to someone who's maybe listening to this and going, yeah, I've been thinking about this for like a long time? Yeah. But I don't know, like none of my friends, none of my lawyer friends, none of my doctor or dentist friends, yeah, they even they don't even use this language. Like, how do I find a community of people that this isn't weird to talk about?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Listen to podcasts like this, number one.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But no, I I want to wanna first of all nuance something that I said, but then also expand and answer your question here. When I say invest in yourself, I don't just mean money.
SPEAKER_03:Of course. Yes. Right? Yeah. I know I got that, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I know you got that. But for the listeners, I'm just kind of going back to um, you know, my own life. And there was a time where, you know, well, I don't know if we have time for this story, but but there there was a time in my life where I ran into an older, wiser woman, and she did not, she was 97 and teaching hula lessons. But this woman, Mary, didn't look 97. Of course, she didn't act 97. And I couldn't help but ask her, how? How are you 97? And her answer was choose joy. Start now. And if you do, everything will be more than all right, my dear. You'll see. And my immediate reaction was, You are nuts. You are a hula hooping old lady. Of course you can say that. But it really was that moment in time. I even have a picture of. Her somewhere, I took a picture with her because it really was the first time I started to question whether things could be different and what that would be like. And, you know, as I sort of life, your your question was, how do I find these people? And again, we're jumping to the how. And just even the recognition of, you know what, I want more joy, inherently changes your vibration. I know that sounds a little bit not evidence-based, but it's actually true. We now have evidence of this. We all have a vibrational frequency because at the end of the day, we're energy, right? There's neurochemical electrical energy pulsing through our bodies. Even if you reduce it to just the physical body, forget the soul. We're we're packets of energy. And so just asking these questions allows then our reticular activating system to now focus on joy. It's like the same reason people say, Oh, I'm thinking about buying a red Ferrari, and now all I see are red Ferraris. It's not because there are more red Ferraris on the road, it's because your reticular activating system is turned on, and now that part of your brain that's responsible for recognizing patterns is attuned to that. And so then what will happen is we start telling ourselves the immediate, you know, that is that's not gonna work. And here's the other thing joy is not a privilege, it's a birthright, it's not a luxury, it's your next competitive edge without burnout. And it's not selfish, it's actually selfless because what happens is you unlock neurochemically, vibrationally, spiritually, karmically, your ability to be tapped into your intuition. And what that allows is for us to be on par with our highest purpose. And what follows is all the other stuff. When we make joy and living from a place of joy the goal, success is the byproduct. The money starts to flow, the opportunities start to present themselves, the experiences of our wildest dreams start to manifest, even the ones that we didn't even know we had. And so it really is the crux is are you willing to step into your joy for not only your sake, but for the sake and well-being of your team, your family? All of that resonates out.
SPEAKER_03:By observation, your entire energy changed, changed in the last 90 to 120 seconds. I could I could tell, well, this is this just means this is you real and this is you have found your purpose. Yeah. So about eight years ago, I started working with a mindset coach who I still work with today, and he spoke in this language. And I thought, this is the weirdest thing I like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But but it is so true. At at every step of the way, when I have had an issue or something I'm just perplexed over, he would say some version of, and he's he's Chinese up in Toronto, Sammy Chong, people who would listen to me probably know Sammy. It's like, I say, how do we know? We have to ask the universe first. How do we know that this will never work? And he's been right. And so I've learned a lot, and of course, he's recommended books, and uh, I'm a I'm a 70 to 100 real books a year reader. Just yeah, just get them and read them. Um, but your I could just say like your whole physical spirit energy, yeah, it changed. It got really revved up. Not that it was subbar before. Let's talk a little bit about what you are doing these days because you are a keynote speaker, you like to speak to uh groups. Um, I'm just curious now, you know, kind of as a as the business model and what you see next stage of life turning out to be. Talk to us a little bit about that because we are at the end of the day, we are entrepreneurs. I love, I just love choose joy and start now. Like I wrote that down as a bully sticker.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, Mary Forever will stay with me. She's my beach angel that I just love sharing about because uh, you know. Yeah, I, you know, and I think going back to how did you make that shift from dentistry? I didn't know. And it was a try a bunch of trial and error and just trusting and finding, you know, what feels good, what what lights me up right now. And uh so I did start off doing getting coach trained, getting, you know, certified to do that in the process. You know, I I said the opportunity start to sort of find yourself. So I birthed this book. A publisher approached me and asked me to write a book. And so I did. And so really the last five years, five to six years now, I retired from dentistry in 2019. And of course, we were in the pandemic, which allowed a lot of time and exploration space. But I've just been kind of taking one day at a time and seeing what feels good. Where do I feel like my soul is lighting up? Where am I able to make impact that matters to me? And so, yeah, for for a while there, it was um, you know, book writing and then coaching one-on-one. And it's not that I don't coach, but what I'm focused on now these days is the keynote speaking. And so I've just, you saw my energy shift when it comes to joy. And I feel like it's just not we really are, we need to hear this message and we need to hear it now, is is joy. And so coaching is wonderful because it gets, you know, it's very tailored bespoke support. But not everybody is really ready for that. And I felt like you don't need to be ready to hear this message of maybe you can look in the mirror and see if there's another way, which is what led me to this desire to speak. And I enjoy being on stage. I love, I love doing things like podcasts and things. And so that's really what I've been up to is developing this speech, this keynote speech, and giving it and sharing what, what and why. Uh having joy is not a privilege. It's not a luxury. It's our next level of success, not only for ourselves, but for the world and for our families and for the universe. It really, really, truly does matter. We need more joy.
SPEAKER_03:And I think you told me last week that you you've been getting some coaching, like so improving the the the art of delivering keynote addresses and letting your your DNA and your joy come through. Who who are you speaking to or looking to speak to? Like what groups would be really good to raise their hands and say, yeah, let's get let's get SEMA on stage?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Well, you know, any any group of professionals that has created a level of success and is now going, Well, I'm just stressed out all the time, or I'm not, you know, this isn't working, or my health is failing. You know, so these ambitious leaders and organizations who are looking to really figure out that success formula without burning themselves out anymore. Um, you know, many of us, the the more and more clients, private coaching clients that I've had come through my doors, the older I get, every like I've gotten more clients that are like, you know, I had a health scare. And that really, really reset how I was approaching work and how I was allowing that to to run my life. I just don't know where to rebuild from. So lawyers, physicians, dentists, uh, those are are great, great groups, women's groups, especially. I know women, the stats show that, you know, women, according to the American Psychological Association, experience higher rates of stress professionally and personally because we tend to want to take on more roles at work to make it look like, you know, we've got it, we can handle it, but then we're still retaining those traditional roles at home because we're not, you know, for a lot of reasons. I'm not, I don't have the research as to why that is, but that that is the trend.
SPEAKER_03:So yeah. My women trial lawyer friends are my heroes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Especially the mom. Like the mom trial lawyer. Like that is such a hard humbo to mix and to excel at.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:If folks want to find out more about you, your keynotes, your philosophy, things like that. We already mentioned the the podcast, which is still there. It's still there. Yeah. And then and give us tell us the uh the name of the podcast again.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, the name of the podcast is Happy and Human. Um, and interestingly, my co-host is a patent attorney. So a little bit of a crossover here, but we just we had such a wonderful run. It was done with a lot of fun. You know, we just kind of looked at our schedules and said, all right, just because, and I will to kind of touch on use the podcast as an example, just because something's great and you've gotten accolades and it feels fun, sometimes it's okay to put it down, even though it's working if you're feeling like there's something that's out of alignment with, you know, life in general. And I think that's why like Seinfeld, Friends, all of these shows that were killer on air, you know, they wanted to quit while they're ahead because you want to go out on a high note.
SPEAKER_03:This is what I would say. This like entrepreneurs have this issue all over because they typically are driven and they hit success, you know, everything is not successful, but they do hit success a lot. And then they get asked to do more, right? So whether it's an internal, like, oh, I can do this, it'd be easy. Let me just add it to my calendar, or like you're a successful person. So now you get asked to be on boards and to volunteer here. And can you coach me here? And can you come speak at this thing? And yes, it's like the most important words in the universe in the universe is oftentimes no. Like, yeah, no. Um okay, so and what's the website people could go see?
SPEAKER_00:It's it's dr drsema decide.com. And I'm sure you're gonna put this in the show notes, right? But it's just dr first name, last name.
SPEAKER_03:Awesome. Well, look, this has been wonderful. Again, my talks with people that I never would have probably run into in my life have been fascinating. I hope our listeners have gotten a lot of out of this. I I love it. I love the work that you're doing. I hope at some point you know, we'll be able to see each other live and in person someplace. We'll we'll uh get together. Yeah, especially if you're out here in the East.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely. And I would love to, before we sign off, just give listeners two things they can do. If they never check out the podcast, if they never look me up on LinkedIn or on my website, if they never, you know, think about this ever again. Would you do we have the space for just two quick things? When you are making a decision, just check in with your breath. Are you holding it? Are you, is it shallow? Are you breathing fast? Or is it relaxed? Are you open? Look at your posture. Your breath is gonna be a really, really powerful way to just see where you're at. If it's if it's the right decision, it's gonna feel aligned and it's gonna feel good in your body and your breath is gonna reflect that. And if not, that opposite is true. So that's number one. Check in with your breath. But then number two is you hit on this so beautifully, the yes and the no. When we say no to something, we just have to be clear what are we actually saying yes to in the process? Right? Because if I'm saying no, I'm not gonna come on your podcast, is it because I'm saying yes to dropping my kids off at school? Or am I saying yes to my workout? Those are okay options. But as long as we're clear on what the yes is and why and what we're saying no to and why. So those are my two quick tips. If you do nothing else, changed my life.
SPEAKER_03:You are a wonderful leader. Thank you for sharing that story. I mean, through through every pain, there is learning to be done. It often takes time to sit and think, to have leadership. It is great when you have a life partner, a spouse who's on the same page and who's working towards the same goals. Like there is a magic in that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um, and this has been a great, a great 45 minutes. Thank you so much, Doc.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:That's it for today's episode of the Renegade Lawyer Podcast, where we're rewriting the rules of what it means to build a great law practice and a great life. If something sparked a new idea or gave you clarity, pass it on. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who's ready to think bigger. Want more tools, strategies, and stories from the trenches? Visit GreatLegalMarketing.com or connect with Ben Glass and the team on LinkedIn. Keep building boldly. We'll see you next time.
